How to Add More Meaning and Purpose to the Funeral

Life Appreciation Services are a unique, sensitive funeral concept. For many the traditional funeral is a helpful and meaningful experience. And in that case, the ceremony is an entirely valid one. However, it may not be for you. If not, please read this. It may surprise you.

In an age when giant corporations and banks of computers sometimes threaten to reduce us to faceless numbers, many of us are more conscious than ever of maintaining our identities. Our unique and individual identities.

Today, many are trying to lead lives with more purpose and meaning, lives which are establishing new traditions.

Life Appreciation Services were conceived out of a sincere effort to respond to the needs of the individual in a helpful and meaningful way. A service with purpose, reflecting personal values and individual feelings.

It seems ironic that traditional funeral services are the only kind that many people consider. It's as if after a life filled with individual choices and decisions, we ultimately conform as everyone else.

None of us live lives in exactly the same way. So it seems inappropriate that everyone should be memorialized in death in exactly the same way.

That's why there are Life Appreciation Services. They are for the family and friends of those whose life could best be remembered through a service that is not entirely traditional. Basically, a Life Appreciation Service is one whose form is dedicated not by tradition, but by what is meaningful to those who are experiencing the loss. The main rule is that the only rules are those that love and dignity make appropriate.

In Life Appreciation Services the body may or may not be present. In some, spontaneous or preplanned expressions of genuine feeling replace formal eulogies. If music is played, it need not be traditional hymns. It can be the kind of music that was shared and enjoyed in life. Even the location of the service can be chosen to reflect unique aspects of the life lived. And the presence of a clergyman depends upon the religious convictions of the deceased and the family.

By now, you can see that the name, Life Appreciation Service, is an appropriate one. Because these services have their basis in life. They emphasize the positive aspects of the life lived and reflect the emotional needs of those who have appreciated them.

Since a Life Appreciation Service can be so open in form and structure, we offer the services of counselors who have been specifically trained to assist in planning and arranging a service that is both meaningful and helpful for you and your family.

Here are just a few examples of the kinds of services you might find appropriate

Individuals who are overcome with grief may require the establishment of a more adequate foundation for the future completion of their grief.

This can be especially true in situations where death has come suddenly or unexpectedly. In these circumstances, an appropriate service is often one where professional assistance is used to help recognize the nature and source of grief itself. Often this sorrow can be channeled into positive action.

A specific example occurred recently when a young person of school age was involved in a fatal accident. After talking to the family, our Life Appreciation Service counselor suggested a memorial scholarship fund. The service was held at the school when the endowment was made. The emphasis was placed on how the memory of the deceased would be carried on in a positive way through the education of other young people who might otherwise be denied that opportunity.

Often when death had been anticipated for a while, as in the case of an elderly person or one who has had a chronic illness, an entirely different service may be appropriate.

A typical example involved a grandmother with grown children and grandchildren whose life revolved around preparing large weekend meals where family members routinely dropped in. Since these meals provided a framework for family unity and participation, a Life Appreciation Service was arranged to recreate that kind of situation. Our counselor helped arrange a service whereby the family gathered together with friends in a banquet room where all shared an informal meal much like their mother and grandmother might have prepared. They talked informally of the woman they all loved. Then the father gave out small mementos appropriate to the special relationship she had with each person present.

Other kinds of Life Appreciation Services satisfy the basic need to channel feelings of grief into individual action. They are planned to allow those attending the service to become actively involved in the funeral and express their feelings of loss in a variety of helpful and meaningful ways.

One such service was for a person who had loved flowers and plants. So all those attending the service were encouraged to bring along a flower or plant that had a special meaning. Sometimes it was because the flower had a bearing on their relationship with the deceased. Or simply because the flower or plant had been nurtured in their own home or garden. At the start of the ceremony, all the individual flowers and plants were brought together to form one large beautiful bouquet fashioned out of many individual expressions of love and caring. There were sunflowers and evergreen sprigs. Pansies and cactus plants. There were even cherry blossoms and chamomile. The ceremony itself began with one person reading some of the deceased's favorite poems. As arranged, special friends seated in the audience began taking part by reading personal statements about their relationship with the deceased. The consensus of those attending was that they felt supported in their loss by coming together and the feeling of community that had developed during the ceremony.

Many Life Appreciation Services reflect personal commitments to the tenets and principals of Christianity and for those who have placed their trust and faith in God. Although they often appear traditional in form, they are arranged as a testimonial to the life style of the deceased and his or her religious convictions.

Other Life Appreciation Serviced are based upon the premise that many people are closely associated with a special place, perhaps a retreat where they have enjoyed spending their time. In some cases, this retreat is simply a special location in or around the home itself, such as the garden. Other times, it may be a cabin in the mountains or a favorite lakeside camping site. It can be any place that had a special meaning to the deceased.

Recently a service was arranged for one who had always been an outdoors man. The simple service consisted of a family prayer followed by refreshments served in a wooded glade in the mountains where the participants could experience the quiet splendor. Those attending the service commented on the dignity of the service and the peace found in that special place.

These are just a few of the kinds of Life Appreciation Services that can be arranged in advance or at the time of need. The service might even be a combination of several of the ones outlined, or a completely different type of service. The potential flexibility and variations are unlimited. You will find our specially trained counselors competent to assist you, because they are not salesmen or sympathetic order takers. They are concerned professionals who believe that a meaningful and helpful funeral service can be the final affirmation of the individuality and dignity of man. And that a funeral without meaning and purpose is a sorrowful thing in itself.

Life Appreciation pre-arrangement plans are available without cost or obligation. And our counselors will be pleased to meet with you and your clergyman to help you plan a Life Appreciation Service that will be a meaningful reflection of your religious commitment and faith.